I try not to regret anything. I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason, even if we don’t see it at the time.
I went through a very rocky and unhealthy relationship and marriage for 8 years. I could easily say that I regret staying in that relationship, but now that I’m out of it, and in a very happy and healthy relationship, I understand why I had to go through that. I learned a lot about myself, what I wanted and needed in a partner, and how to make things work.
My current partner and I have never even had a fight in the 2.5 years we have been together. He too, went through several failed relationships before we got together, and he agrees that going through those relationships really allowed us to have a healthy relationship together. We are both more mature, patient, understanding, and are able to compromise. We get along so well that it just blows my mind sometimes. If I had not gone through my previous relationship, I feel as though I may have taken this one for granted. But instead, I fully understand just how lucky I am to have such a wonderful man in my life, and I never take one day with him for granted.
I am not completely without regret, however. There are some things I have done in my life, that I really wish I hadn’t. Those things almost always involve times when I hurt someone else’s feelings, whether I intended to or not. One such time really sticks out in my mind.
I don’t remember exactly how old I was, but I’d guess around 12 or 13. Christmas time was nearing, and all I wanted was a bike. Not just any bike though, a mountain bike. All the kids in town, including my best friend, had a mountain bike, it seemed. I begged and pleaded for my parents to get me one for Christmas.
Well, Christmas morning arrived, and after opening all my gifts, which did not include a mountain bike, I was feeling pretty let down. Then, my Dad told me I should go take a look out in the garage because there was something out there for me.
I immediately thought to myself that they must have bought me a mountain bike, so I jumped up and ran out to the garage, my parents not too far behind me. They entered the garage at the same time I did.
There, in the garage, sat a brand new bike, but it was a 10 speed, not a mountain bike. I was absolutely devastated. I had wanted a mountain bike so badly, and they bought me a 10 speed. I was in that early teenage stage where I thought I had to copy what everyone else was doing, or I would surely stick out like a sore thumb and be made fun of.
I didn’t hold back my disappointment from my parents. Instead, I started crying and acting like a child. I was upset and angry that I didn’t get exactly what I wanted, and I let them know it.
Summer time came, and I refused to ride the bike. It wasn’t what I wanted, and I wouldn’t be caught dead riding it around town. So, there it sat, in the garage, unwanted and unused.
I don’t remember exactly what happened to that bike. I think my Dad ended up buying himself a new bike and he and my Mom rode both bikes together.
Now that I am an adult, and have come to understand all of the sacrifices my parents, especially my Dad, made for me growing up, I feel just absolutely terrible about that Christmas, and I regret the way I acted. My Dad worked hard to save the money to buy me that bike. He was probably bursting at the seams to give it to me on Christmas morning, and see a big smile across my face, knowing that he did something really awesome for me, and because it wasn’t exactly what I wanted, I threw a hissy fit instead. I can only imagine how painful that must have been for him, and it breaks my heart to think that I did that to him.
That, is something I will regret for the rest of my life.
Is there something you regret? Let me know in the comments!