Last week I had a big blow up fight with my sister. She’s 9 years younger than I am, and we’ve never really been all that close. We hang out from time to time, but she’s not someone that I really ever share my deepest darkest secrets with or anything like that. Because I am so much older than her, I think I come across as an annoying motherly type to her, more so than a sister. That, often times, leads to us having little tiffs here and there, but this fight with my sister was much different. It really felt like a personal attack on me.
A couple of weeks ago, I found out that she too is pregnant. She and her boyfriend have been together for about 9 months, and I honestly don’t think they’re ready to have a baby, but I’ll just keep my mouth shut about that whole thing. I tried to act happy for her, and offered her any help and/or advice she might need. She’s never taken my advice in the past, but I offered it anyway, since I’m 5+ months pregnant right now myself, and thought maybe for once in her life she might accept my help. I talked to her on the phone a bit, texted back and forth with her, and I thought things were going pretty well. Then, it happened.
Late one night, out of the blue, she texts me the following: “hey i want to name my daughter if i have a girl hayleigh is that okay or do you want me to spell it diff”. Upon seeing the name Hayleigh, my heart immediately began to race, I could feel the rage consuming my body, I yelled to my fiance “Oh my God, Amber just texted me that she wants to name her baby Hayleigh if it’s a girl!!!” Then, I called my Mother and complained to her about it. You see, John and I are naming our baby Kayleigh. KAYLEIGH. And then Amber all of a sudden decides she wants to name her baby ONE freakin letter different than I’m naming my kid?! I don’t think so!
I have had the name Kayleigh picked out since I was in like the 6th grade. We KNOW we are having a girl already, and her name IS Kayleigh. We have hand-painted wooden blocks and a handmade quilt with her name on them already. There is no going back for us now.
I was so livid that Amber would pick that name, out of all of the names in the world that she could have chosen. I mean, who does that?? What was she trying to do to me? All of the people I told about it thought she was being resentful to me, because my pregnancy was welcomed by everyone with happiness and excitement, and the news of hers was met with worry and doubt. Maybe this was her way of trying to take the spotlight from me. I don’t really know. All I know, is that I was furious about it. Our kids are not going to be twins, and they are certainly not going to have practically the same name!
I texted back and forth with her that night and told her how upset I was. I was too mad to actually talk to her on the phone. I tried to remain calm about it, but she accused me of yelling at her through my texts. My Mom was no help either. She for some reason, didn’t think it was a big deal. Not a big deal?! It was a HUGE deal to me!
I was ready to pull my hair out, and my fiance was seething too. He couldn’t believe that she was doing this to us. After texting back and forth for what seemed like forever, and having my other sister try to talk some sense into her, she backed down and said that she would not name her kid Hayleigh. I honestly don’t know if I can trust her now though. There’s this part of me that thinks she is just saying that to get me off her back, and that when her baby comes in September, a mere 4 months after I give birth to Kayleigh, she will name her daughter Hayleigh.
After the fight with my sister, I didn’t talk to her for a week. I didn’t plan to talk to her again for a while. I was still upset. Then, I fell down outside the other night. Luckily, I landed right on my knees and Kayleigh seems to be fine, but I was pretty shaken up about the whole thing. Mom told my sister about it, and she called me to make sure I was okay. So, I guess that broke the ice a bit. I still can’t help feeling a little upset towards her though. I just felt so betrayed by her.
Hopefully we can just move past this, and be on good terms with each other. Neither one of us needs added stress during our pregnancy. You can be sure though, that with my next pregnancy, I will NOT be announcing the name until the baby is here!
Has anyone ever stolen the name you had picked out for your child, or named their’s something very similar? What did you do in that situation?